Monday
What I Am Wearing: Purple jacket, mauve tank top, jeans, white sneakers
I was busy this morning at my writing desk in the carrot (what bunnies call the upper floor), and my assistant Tricia brought in a delivery of chocolate-coated radishes, and the rest of the mail, such as it is these days.
There was a Fast Bunny Mail message from my old friend Lucy Pocket, who lives at the far end of Bunnyland. "Can you come quickly? I am being entirely pestered with strange creatures here, and it is most worrisome." As you know, I detest travel, but I'm fond of Lucy and her children, so I decided to go and see what was up.
Tricia is most efficient at booking Bunny Airlines tickets, so I let her take care of those details, but perhaps I shouldn't have, because she got me one of those cheap seats where the luggage allowance is about the same as a three-pound bag of carrots.
So, after five minutes' thought, because that's about all the time I had, I stashed the following items of clothing in my little rolling backpack:
White blazer
Teal tank top
Sage-green pants
Navy dress
Bright green top, because one cannot have too many shades of green tops
Navy t-shirt
A dressy pair of navy shoes
A pair of striped shoes because I really like shoes
William Morris print silk scarf
Pajamas and such necessary things
I threw my big earplugs and a few things for the children into my purse, and we were off to the airport. It is a bit warm today to be wearing this jacket, but it is full of handy pockets and it also keeps one cozy when the air-conditioning blows hard, so there we are.
Now, you may be wondering why I would choose those things; indeed, you may well question my folly in bringing a blazer, or anything white at all, if you know those young bunnies. However, I am not entirely off my ears and tail with this. Since I'm taking the trouble to travel, and I hope that Lucy's critter problems are mouse-sized and easily solvable, I may as well make a couple of other stops. Hence the dress and the shoes and the blazer. And my best scarf. But if you think that means I intend to visit Aunt Aubergine while I'm there, you are sadly deceived.
Later
As Lucy and I had tea, there was a shuffling noise behind her, and I assumed that this was one of the creatures that were upsetting the household.
"Wheek, wheekity." "Is this the problem?" "No, this is our garden club chairwoman, Tufty Tuppence."
"Squeak squeakity."
"You have squirrel intruders?" "Oh no, not at all. This is our English neighbour, Madam Red Squirrel."
"Then what's the great problem that had to bring me all the way across Bunny Land?" "These little red things. They're scaring the children."
"Seriously, Lucy?"
"Oh, do stop glaring at me, Betty. You know I can't stand bugs." "So tell them their house is on fire and send them on their way." "Oh, thank you excessively! I knew you would have the right answer."
You're welcome, I guess. But really? The rabbits who cried ladybug.
Well, let's get some dinner.
Tuesday
What I Am Wearing: Green top, green pants, sneakers, William Morris scarf
Lucy and I did a bit of shopping in the morning.
She was quite taken with this lace-trimmed gown, but it did not have any pockets so that was a deal-breaker.
We also stopped in at the green-grocers. I dislike that rabbit very much, as every time we visit, he finds some way to tease me. Today it was my outfit. "Ha, all green just for me?" Ugh, bachelors.
Wednesday
What I Am Wearing: White blazer, navy dress, navy pumps, jewelry.
I suppose if I went back to the green-grocers today, he'd ask me if I'm joining the navy.
But I will not have to do that, thankfully, as I said my goodbyes to Lucy and rolled my bags onto the mornig train. I'm off to a bookstore in the next town, where they've asked me to sign copies of my new book, How to Be Nifty in a Jiffy at Fifty. Mrs. Tabitha Twitchit came and bought a copy for herself and one for Cousin Ribby.
Young Maud also stopped in and sang cheerfully for half an hour.
Well, that emptied the bookstore, so I gathered my things and went back to the train station. The waiting room was full of young rabbits all wearing red capes. Is this the latest trend? I will have to investigate this more fully.
I got off at Cabbage Gate, and stayed overnight with Tricia's sister Phoenicia and her husband Misha. He took this picture of us discussing that new book series, Ima Rabbit, about a Victorian lady's diary.
Phoenicia thinks the Ima Rabbit books are wonderful, but I can't think why anyone would want to let people read their personal thoughts, let alone publish them. Misha said he knows who the author is. Phoenicia said, well, of course it's right there on the cover. Misha said no, that's just her quill-pen name. I said, ever skeptical, how do you know then?
Misha just smiled.
Which leaves all the possibilities open. Who is the secret author? I don't think it could be Misha.
Please don't say it's the green-grocer.
Or Aunt Aubergine. Horrors.
Thinking it over.
Thursday
What I Am Wearing: White blazer, green tank top, green pants, William Morris scarf, striped shoes
Did you expect something red today? No, as I'm still living out of my emergency-packed suitcase, I am mixing and matching from those things.
I am making one more stop before returning home tomorrow. Last year I sprained my paw and had to go to the emergency clinic. While I was sitting on a hard chair, waiting and moaning and being my usual grumpy self (oh, I know!), a family with young rabbits sat down in the seats opposite. I did not pay a lot of attention to them at first, but as we had all been sitting there much longer than any of us would have liked, we began to make some tentative chit-chat. They also allowed me to take a photograph. These are the Ruffletail parents with their youngest child, who, as you may notice, was not a rabbit at all, but a very little baby bear. They had taken it in, but it was "poorly," as we used to say, and they had gotten to know the clinic quite well.
The good news is that, with a lot of love and care, the bear began to flourish and is now a beloved member of their household, although his increased size and appetite (particularly for cheeseburgers and root beer) has caused some difficulties. I may or may not have helped the Ruffletails out a bit over the past months.
He calls me Auntie Betty.
Which reminds me, I had a Fast Bunny Mail message from Aunt Aubergine. She is demanding that I go and see her. I suppose I can manage it before I go home. I was going to wear my purple jacket, t-shirt, and jeans tomorrow for travelling, but Aunt A. won't appreciate that. Well, I'll have a look in my little bag and see what's still decent.
Friday
What I Am Wearing: Purple jacket, navy t-shirt, jeans, sneakersx Navy dress, layered with navy t-shirt, and the good shoes, which I have discovered pinch my rabbit bunions after about the first ten minutes. Well, hopefully I won't be at Aunt A's too long, and then I can change back into my sneakers.
"Well," she said. "It's about time you showed up." "How are you, dear Aunt?" I asked. "Don't dear Aunt me. You have a lot of explaining to do."
Some people tell me I have a death stare. I guess I know where I got it from.
"I don't understand. What's the trouble?"
Aunt Aubergine gave up on the death stare, but was still obviously not happy. "I happen to own a publishing company," she began. "Don't I know it, you haven't accepted even one of my books," I said. "Be quiet," she said. "Recently we began publishing a very successful series. You may have heard of it. It's called Ima Rabbit."
See Betty Bunny be very puzzled about where this is going.
"The main character in this series has a very dreadful rich aunt," she says.
See Betty Bunny continue to be puzzled.
"What I would LIKE to know," sniffs Aunt Aubergine, "is why the royalty cheques are going to your address?"
See Betty Bunny be completely rabbitghasted. Also, my shoes are pinching horribly.
"And, moreover, why you found it necessary to portray me in such a fashion? Stop wiggling your rabbits' feet in that repulsive manner and explain yourself."
"My shoes hurt."
"Not that, the rest of it."
"Honestly, auntie, I have no idea. Actually, I am starting to get one idea, but I'll have to do some investigating."
"Humph."
And with that, she let me go.
An hour later
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